he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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