I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize