He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
