Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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