you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just found puke in my bra..
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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