At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
