Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
