I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
