Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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