From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
