this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
