pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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