Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
It's blow job season.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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