I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
