sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
