"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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