she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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