Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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