why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
God, I missed his penis.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
