Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
My bed smells like the plague
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
