She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ladies don't puke and tell
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
