its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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