mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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