Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
soo... how was my night?
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