Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
