dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
