i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
