im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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