Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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