Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
