Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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