Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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