i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
