At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
