In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
there is glitter all over my balls
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
