theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
