Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
