i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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