I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
All the doctor said was why
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
