have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
