It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
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