everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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