you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
