I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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