R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
