That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
