just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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