Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
