i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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