8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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